Be a Mirror: Give Readers Feedback That Fosters a Growth Mindset
In this article they talk about how thinking of your feedback as a mirror can be helpful in how the critisism will be taken on.
to focus on what is there and not what isn't "a mirror stays focused on what is in front of it, A mirror cannot reflect back what is not there". You are asked to focus on the process and the work that was put into the work instead of what its missing.
How to Give Bad Feedback Without Being a Jerk
In this article they talk about faults in the "Compliment sandwich" approach to feedback which is "Put a slice of praise on the top and the bottom, and stick the meat of your criticism in between".
the positives fall on deaf ears. When people hear praise during a feedback conversation, they brace themselves. They’re waiting for the other shoe to drop, and it makes the opening compliment seem insincere. You didn’t really mean it; you were just trying to soften the blow.
Instead of this you don't need to compliment or say something nice if you dont mean it.
1. Explain why you’re giving the feedback
now you sound as if you have their best interest at heart instead of just plain criticism.
2. Take yourself off a pedestal
“I’ve benefited a lot from people giving me feedback, and I’m trying to pay that forward.”
3. Ask if the person wants feedback
They may not even want it.
4. Have a transparent dialogue, not a manipulative monologue
“I have some negative feedback to give you. I’ll start with some positive feedback to relax you, and then give you the negative feedback, which is the real purpose of our meeting. I’ll end with more positive feedback so you won’t be so disappointed or angry at me when you leave my office.”